Every day, our children are facing emotional challenges that often go unnoticed. Whether it’s the pressure of social media, peer pressure, or growing issues of anger, anxiety, and stress, today’s students are struggling with more than just academics. One of the most significant issues plaguing our schools is the inability of students to understand and manage their emotions. Without guidance, these emotions can fester, leading to violent outbursts, poor academic performance, and a deep sense of isolation.
Take, for example, the recent tragic school shooting in Winder, GA. While the event is heartbreaking, it forces us to ask important questions: Why are children reaching such extreme levels of anger and frustration? What can we do to prevent these emotional breakdowns before they escalate into irreversible acts of violence?
From my experience working in education for over 20 years, I’ve seen first-hand how these violent acts often stem from unmanaged emotions. Children, especially teenagers, experience a whirlwind of feelings that they often don’t know how to process or express in a healthy way. Our society encourages happiness but often overlooks the importance of managing more intense emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness. And sadly, schools are not always equipped to teach children how to handle these feelings.
The Hidden Dangers of Unmanaged Emotions
Imagine a student feeling anger without knowing how to express it. Instead of recognizing that something has violated their boundaries or values, they suppress the feeling. Buried emotions don’t disappear—they build up until they explode, manifesting as harmful behavior, violence, or even self-destruction. When students don’t have the skills to manage their emotions, conflicts escalate into violent outbursts, sadness deepens into depression, and fear turns into debilitating anxiety. Our children are left feeling isolated, misunderstood, and incapable of handling life’s challenges.
Schools often overlook the root cause of these issues, focusing on behavioral corrections rather than the underlying emotions. But to truly address the problem, we need to equip children with the tools to recognize and manage their emotions in a constructive way.
The Solution: Emotional Mastery Workshops
This is where emotional mastery becomes crucial. In my Emotional Mastery Workshops, I help students identify what they’re feeling, understand the meaning behind those feelings, and express them in a way that leads to resolution, not conflict. By teaching children to manage their emotions, we equip them with the skills to handle any situation with confidence and clarity.
Key Actions for Teachers and School Leaders:
- Teach the Meaning of Emotions: One of the biggest mistakes people make is misinterpreting their emotions. For example, many students confuse frustration with anger, leading to aggressive responses. Teachers should help students differentiate between emotions like frustration (something blocking you from what you want) and anger (someone violating your values). This understanding allows students to respond more effectively and avoid escalating conflicts.
- Teach Coping Skills: When students don’t know how to cope with conflict, they often resort to aggressive behavior. Every classroom is filled with children from different backgrounds, cultures, and experiences, which naturally leads to conflict. It’s crucial for teachers to give students constructive ways to cope with these challenges rather than simply telling them what not to do.
- Teach Anger Management Techniques: It’s not enough to tell students to stop hitting or kicking when they’re angry. If you don’t provide them with alternative actions, their minds will revert to the behavior you’re trying to correct. For example, instead of saying, “Johnny, stop running,” say, “Johnny, stop running and start walking.” This fills the mind with a clear next step, ensuring that the behavior change sticks.
- Teach Assertiveness: Assertiveness is a vital skill for students to learn. When someone does something they don’t like, they need to know how to 1) express their feelings and 2) ask for what they want. For example, when a student’s pencil is taken, they can say, “I don’t like it when you take my pencil. Please give it back.” However, it’s important that their nonverbal cues match their words—if they don’t reach out their hand, the other person may not take them seriously.
- Install the Subconscious Belief of Resilience: Resilience stems from the belief that “whatever happens, I can handle it.” People lacking resilience often subconsciously believe they won’t be able to handle a situation. It’s important to help students build this belief, giving them the confidence to face challenges head-on rather than shrinking in the face of adversity.
What I Did and Why It Worked
For 20 years, I taught students at all grade levels, including those in alternative education who had been expelled from traditional schools. These students lacked social skills, academic motivation, and emotional stability. Many of them had low self-esteem and didn’t feel like they belonged.
As someone who grew up in foster care, I knew what it felt like to be unwanted, so I made it my mission to ensure no student in my classroom felt that way. I studied the mind and brain, experimenting with strategies to push the right motivational buttons for each student. Over time, I noticed a shift—students stopped fighting, cursing, and disrespecting one another. They began showing respect for themselves, their peers, and me as their teacher.
Why did this work? Because I focused on the subconscious mind. Most behavioral issues stem from hidden, subconscious beliefs, and addressing those beliefs at their root is the key to creating lasting change.
Proven Results
Throughout my time as an educational consultant, I’ve taught countless teachers how to apply these emotional mastery techniques in their classrooms. I’ve also worked directly with students to help them master their emotions, often turning around their behavior and performance in school.
For example, one school asked me to help with a fifth-grade student who was terrorizing the building—throwing balls at windows, cursing, and tearing down bulletin boards. After applying the techniques from my Emotional Mastery Workshops, that student became a leader in the school, helping other students resolve conflicts and complete assignments.
Conclusion
By addressing the root cause of emotional struggles, schools can help students improve not only their behavior but also their academic performance and relationships. Emotional mastery is not a luxury—it’s a necessity for creating a positive learning environment where students thrive. It’s time for schools to invest in emotional mastery programs and give students the tools they need to succeed in all areas of their lives.
If you’re ready to transform the emotional landscape of your school, reach out today to learn how Emotional Mastery Workshops can make a lasting impact.